Where Have I Been?

I have been taking some time off. Taking a step back to examine my life. Honestly I didn’t think I would have been gone as long as I have been and I’m a bit unsure how I am to feel about my break. While on one hand it has been freeing to not worry about posting to the blog every week, I felt I had let down a part of myself that was being consistent. Haunted by voices in my head to get back. Also questioning those same points wondering if there is a point to all of this.

I have delved deep into my mind and into books. Book after book I have read hoping that some magical sentence, paragraph, or chapter would save me! Nothing. Just more questions. Then doubting myself over and over. I know that I am cut out for this and I am back for a reason. There is a natural order and a Way that I can follow. It is lonesome but so is most of life. Right?

It is late, and I didn’t release my preset pack. I have let myself down more than anyone else anticipating my release. For that, I am here to say it is almost done. I am not concerned about loops right now. Those just make me go a little crazy trying to make. I feel too attached to the loops I do make and despise the idea of giving them up when I would rather use them in my own work. That is a me issue though.

Alas, no more running, and no more hiding. I have set all this up for the purpose of sharing my work. Friday, October 17th is my final due date for this pack that has been haunting each and every step I take. Every day I think about this thing and all the shame I have for not wrapping it up. For turning away when the finish line is in sight. No more. I am going to turn back and cross the finish line.

For those of you who support me and check in—thank you!

Until next time

-P